How do we obviously raise or increase confident kids when each given day presents constant challenges that have the capability to destroy their self-confidence? Begin by taking a look at what is going on in your house and then consider who their buddies are. Having a supportive family and powerful friendships are significant but these seven components are only as crucial for parents that wish to raise and increase confident kids.
1. Guide your kids to love themselves properly
"All kids have to be educated to love themselves by a really young age or else they cannot make the decisions they need to have a healthy body and lifestyle, "said writer and K-12 faculty adviser, Julia V. Taylor, talking at our current #TalkEarly Summit. Enjoy! It appears so straightforward but nevertheless, it is a message that can be overshadowed during the course of the day. Rather than being hypercritical, create a point of commenting on something that your kid is great at that has nothing to do with looks or beauty.
2. Instill respect fr their bodies
Perfect choices come from being comfortable in your skin. “All children must be taught to love and respect their bodies, no matter what size they are,” Taylor stated at our #TalkEarly Summit. “They must be taught to love themselves from a very young age or else they can’t make the choices they need to have a healthy body and lifestyle.” By being healthy as a family, you’re taking the focus off “size, food, and eating, and put it back on health and self-esteem.”
3. Model healthy habits
Even though Taylor suggested preaching about the importance of daily exercise to stay healthy, I think it’s even more important to model healthy habits. I like to involve my kids in meal planning and grocery shopping so we can work together to make choices about the kinds of things we want to eat during our family meals. I also try to model physical activity by taking our Yellow Labrador, Oliver, with me when I run. Knowing how excited Oliver gets about the possibility of going for a walk gets them excited to keep him healthy too.
Modeling healthy habits also includes being honest about alcohol in an age-appropriate way. Having important conversations with your kids about drinking from an early age… Seize teachable moments to talk about alcohol consumption. Know when to be honest and when too much information can be detrimental based on their age.
4. Convey your family values and provide age-appropriate independence and responsibilities
Confident kids sense stability that comes from knowing the family values having boundaries set by parents who provide consistent rules and consequences. They take risks but within limits thanks to parents who provide age-appropriate independence and responsibility to foster a sense of confidence.
Over time, I’ve gotten a little more comfortable loosening the reigns as our 7 and 10 years old prove they’re ready for more responsibility. I’ve gotten more comfortable with the idea of our kids staying home alone as I’ve tested their ability to be responsible for brief periods of time. While they’re ok staying home for a few minutes at a time when I run to school to pick up their sibling or out to the grocery store, we’re not to the point where I’d leave them home alone for an evening but I know that will come with time.
One successful jump was all it took for his confidence to soar and he’s been hooked ever since! Knowing that he knows how to handle himself when he flies off the jump makes me more confident in his abilities, even when he doesn’t stick the landing. Giving my son confidence to take risks within limits also made him want to try moguls on our last ski trip!
5. Be an active listener
When my kids get home, I find myself having to stop and sit in order to truly listen to what my kids say but even then, Taylor says we often “listen to speak rather than listen to hear.” I’m quick to jump in before they finish their sentences, offering advice before they’re ready or moving on to the next topic before we fully discuss the issue at hand. Making a conscious effort to listen can be difficult when our minds are swirling with an endless to-do list and thinking about the next thing that we need to do but for our kids’ sake, it’s important to slow down and truly listen.
6. Help kids find their niche in the friendship puzzle
Powerful and Strong friendships Lead in self-confidence that assists kids to locate their place in the societal puzzle of friendship. Lately, we have been having lots of discussions with our ten-year-old daughter about friendships and namely, the qualities of a fantastic buddy. I can tell what qualities she finds annoying (the girl who always chatters and prevents her from getting her work done) and gross (the boy who picks his nose and wipes it on the class bean bag) and how she feels when other students break the rules and get away with it. Our conversations show me that she’s thoughtful, empathetic, and becoming more confident in herself to know what qualities she loves her closest friends. I can only hope that the qualities that my fourth grader values in her current friends are ones that stick as she gets older.
7. Accept their feelings
Taylor thinks it is important to develop a culture of Understanding using a family. Rather than negating your kid's beliefs by Saying “it is not accurate,” she encourages.